I spent 5 days on a business trip to another country (<2 hour flight) and I knew it would wreck me and it did and it was way less worth it than I thought it would be.
I’m on day 5 of PEM and have to be back to (my <8 hours per week) work tomorrow (technically, today, my first meeting is in 9 hours) and have no idea how. Shoot me now. It’s worth describing what “on day 5 of PEM” means, precisely; I’ve spent the last 5 days doing nothing but sleeping, occasionally eating (but not much, my jaw muscles hurt so much when I chew, more than a few minutes of eating and I want to use my hands to move my jaw up and down), then sleeping again.
Technically, there are things to do: Unpack my suitcase, write & send invoices, do the dishes, tidy up the kitchen, living room, bedroom, office, bathroom, do the laundry, or, you know, catch up with friends, etc. instead, I got up in the morning, ate a few bites, fell asleep on the couch for 3-5 hours, repeat. Oh and I did one load of laundry. (Gosh the autocorrect in this app sucks.)
I also saw a neurologist on Friday (about my sleep issues) who told me that he thinks all my symptoms could be explained with RLS and had a big “I will save you”-demeanor about him (he also said as much). And while I don’t disagree I have it, I’ve really heard the “it’s just xy”-line too often and said too consistently to buy it anymore. I’m praying the stuff he gave me for the RLS will help me sleep a bit more and better in any case.
I’ve spent the last hours chastising myself for not going to bed sooner, preferably around 2pm. Instead, I did some painting, not much, and my elbow resting on the table, and me lying in a chair, but painting nonetheless. I also went out for dinner, all fun things, but I’ve been ignoring the shooting pain in my limbs and joints for too long. Now I got an added headache and my throat ache and the swollen lymph nodes are back.
I dream of sleeping for 36 hours. I wish so much that I could. Ironically, I just had to take a lorazepam because I can’t even seem to fall asleep early enough to get some 9 hours of sleep at least.