My muscles hurt so badly i could scream; I don’t. I want to tear out my legs. Today was a shit day. I already felt so frustrated and helpless last night, I couldn’t snap out of it today. The lack of any kind of perspective, let alone hope, is really getting to me at the moment. And the loneliness of it; my partner asked this morning what’s up, I told them, and responded that I didn’t want to talk about it; I see photos of pride parades all over Europe and I’m sad that I’m not there.